You are in my heart and on my mind today. Maybe it is the events of the week that cause me to think of all the children going to sleep with out their parents to tell them every thing will be all right. Or maybe because we have friends that were in route to their newest daughter and were grounded because of the tsunami. Oh, to be so close to holding her in their arms and then to have to wait some more.
Friends I know what it is like to wait. To wait for a child you have never met, to wait to be chosen by a brave and amazing birth mother, to wait to bring home children you have already held in your arms and kissed but are not allowed to hold in your home... yet. For you who are waiting I want to encourage you. If it seems to much, call your agency and tell them you need a little information that will let you know that someday... . Remember those agency fees? They include encouraging words whenever you need them (but you have to ask). I remember saying to our social worker, "This is so hard. I just want to know if there are any babies being born anywhere in this great state and if any of them are being placed with adoptive families." She just hugged me and told me there were and everything was busy and business as usual for them and they had no idea it was any different for me. She assured me I could call any time because there were always exciting things going on. They do not call us because they do not want us to feel hurt or rejected if there is a baby that is placed with someone else. Rejected? I would be elated! I love to hear a good adoption story. It thrills my heart.
Yesterday I began reading a book that caused me to think again about our times of waiting.
As I read the first chapter of
Lazarus Awakening by Joanna Weaver I was once again caught up in the story of the sisters, Mary and Martha. They knew Jesus. He had been to their house for dinner, they were friends. The Bible says that Jesus loved them. When their brother got sick they sent word to Jesus to come quickly. Yes. They were tight with GOD; the one who could say a word and all things would be made well. But Jesus did not come. He loved Lazarus, yet he did not come. He did not take away the sickness. He did not prevent him from dying. Why? If he loved them all wouldn't it be an automatic, a no brainer. Heal the brother, save the sisters from grief and sadness, spare the trouble of the burial and all the details. Why? "For the glory of God."
John 11:4 Then we get to the end of the story, instead of healing Lazarus from his sickness, Jesus heals him from death. Stone cold, in the tomb four days, all the way dead; and Jesus calls for him to come. Wow! Out comes Lazarus all wrapped up tight. Everyone was so amazed Jesus had to tell them to unwrap him and let him go. Now that ending is way to amazing to be discounted by those that were there.
I love a happy ending at least as much as every one else, but I'm not big on the drama. I don't like stressful movies (even if I know how they will end). I don't like thrilling roller-coaster rides. I don't even really care for
The Three Little Pigs running for their lives over and over again. I like smooth sailing, quick conflict management, and sunny days. I think that is why the emotion of the story gets me. The poor sisters had to go through all of that never knowing there was a HUGE miracle coming their way. They had to really feel the pain and the loss of their brother. They had to make the arrangements and prepare his body for burial. They were even angry with Jesus for not helping them out. Real life, real stuff.
That is when I stopped to think of the times in my life when I have asked God to "heal the sickness" to avoid the pain. To take away the troubles and "make it all better." In my life recently that translated to "speed up the process and bring the kids home fast." As you wait for your own adoptions I know you get it. We had been with our kids. We knew the feel of their skin, the sound of their voices, the smell of their little bodies. Legally, they were already ours. Yet we waited. Waited for paper work, waited for visas, waited for governments. All the while wanting it to go faster. You know, Jesus did it His way, not mine. It did not go faster, I was not spared the wait. But oh, the unmistakable miracle, God's greatness is way to amazing to be discounted by those that were there.
Your story is still unfolding. Wait and see. It might be a best seller. :)
Blessing to you as you wait for your child.
After checking in on Sidney today on Facebook, my plans have changed. I am a mom of three beautiful little girls; sisters that at first look do not look alike at all, and one handsome boy that looks an awful lot like the smallest sister. I often dress the girls alike, especially the youngest two. But for Easter and Christmas they all look like they belong together. You know, matching dresses and a coordinating polo shirt. Not too fancy, just special.
